Becca and I have remained the greatest of friends. I think our bond stands the test of time and distance because when together, we make it count.
Last weekend, Becca took a break from her busy practicum to come visit from San Francisco and we caught up over rosé and lattes, our favorites. Here I thought I’d share some of our tips for a friendship that withstands, paired with our favorite coffee stops along the way (in Williamsburg, BK).
Make room at Butler
Life is busy and bustling. For a friendship to endure, first make space for it. Make space in your calendar and space in your heart. Only then can you really cherish it and not feel rushed or burdened by it. Really being with a person makes all of the difference in the quality of your relationship and taking the time to plan ahead shows you value it.
For a friendship to withstand, and especially long distance, you need the greatest memories and a feel of home to hold on to when you think about that person. Good friends display empathy and a level of synchronization that I believe naturally happens when you’re really present. Put away distractions to really connect.
Sharing is caring and it’s as simple as the expression says. To be selfless and when it’s hardest to be, will strengthen your bond. Even as simple as giving up a night of studying if your friend really needs you. It should always be reasonable of course, but you’ll both remember getting over a hump together, over a quiz you didn’t ace.
So much is already at stake, from jobs to careers to paying bills to aging parents and and and. Friendship should counteract life and feel like whipped cream: sweet and fluffy. A good test of the quality of your friendship is if you often feel drained or lighter in your step after spending time together. A good laugh can cure a shitty day better than a bottle of fancy red, plus it’s less caloric.
We live in a world of striving for perfect. Perfect selfies, perfectly designed latte foams, perfect lives. I think a good friendship should feel like a hiding place to let all of that go. A place where you can indulge in ideas, philosophies, and dreams together without feeling judged. Also, only by relating with one another with open hearts can a friendship really withstand, and often we put each other at ease by just being human and not selling a pretense. It should feel safe to say, “I don’t know,” with a good friend.
Like anything worthwhile, a good friendship takes a lot of investing, and from both sides. You can’t water it once a month and expect it to stay blooming. With a million ways to connect these days, it’s easy to let a friend know you’re thinking of them. It shouldn’t take much time either, and it should feel easy. A friendship that withstands should never feel forced or one-sided, but free, fulfilling and precious.
This post was inspired by JORD Watches’ mission to #makeitcount. Watch worn above is my favorite of their collection, the Frankie in navy. Try your chance at $100 towards a JORD gift with my contest link by entering here. You win $25 just by entering.