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More Than Time

Becca and I have remained the greatest of friends. I think our bond stands the test of time and distance because when together, we make it count.

Last weekend, Becca took a break from her busy practicum to come visit from San Francisco and we caught up over rosé and lattes, our favorites. Here I thought I’d share some of our tips for a friendship that withstands, paired with our favorite coffee stops along the way (in Williamsburg, BK).

Make room at Butler

Life is busy and bustling. For a friendship to endure, first make space for it. Make space in your calendar and space in your heart. Only then can you really cherish it and not feel rushed or burdened by it. Really being with a person makes all of the difference in the quality of your relationship and taking the time to plan ahead shows you value it.

Savor it at Marlow & Sons

For a friendship to withstand, and especially long distance, you need the greatest memories and a feel of home to hold on to when you think about that person. Good friends display empathy and a level of synchronization that I believe naturally happens when you’re really present. Put away distractions to really connect.

Share at Toby’s Estate 

Sharing is caring and it’s as simple as the expression says. To be selfless and when it’s hardest to be, will strengthen your bond. Even as simple as giving up a night of studying if your friend really needs you. It should always be reasonable of course, but you’ll both remember getting over a hump together, over a quiz you didn’t ace.

Play at The End

So much is already at stake, from jobs to careers to paying bills to aging parents and and and. Friendship should counteract life and feel like whipped cream: sweet and fluffy. A good test of the quality of your friendship is if you often feel drained or lighter in your step after spending time together. A good laugh can cure a shitty day better than a bottle of fancy red, plus it’s less caloric.

Indulge at Dépanneur

We live in a world of striving for perfect. Perfect selfies, perfectly designed latte foams, perfect lives. I think a good friendship should feel like a hiding place to let all of that go. A place where you can indulge in ideas, philosophies, and dreams together without feeling judged. Also, only by relating with one another with open hearts can a friendship really withstand, and often we put each other at ease by just being human and not selling a pretense. It should feel safe to say, “I don’t know,” with a good friend.

Refill at Devoción

Like anything worthwhile, a good friendship takes a lot of investing, and from both sides. You can’t water it once a month and expect it to stay blooming. With a million ways to connect these days, it’s easy to let a friend know you’re thinking of them. It shouldn’t take much time either, and it should feel easy. A friendship that withstands should never feel forced or one-sided, but free, fulfilling and precious.


This post was inspired by JORD Watches’ mission to #makeitcount. Watch worn above is my favorite of their collection, the Frankie in navy. Try your chance at $100 towards a JORD gift with my contest link by entering here. You win $25 just by entering.



Hygge new york city dog rescue healthy lifestyle Fred Darling story
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My favorite date place?

The library.

With myself, with a girlfriend, with anyone who gets as excited about hardcovers as I do. And perhaps she’s to blame.

If I ever have a whole day off, I like to hop on the train and walk to a bookstore or library. Whichever one is still standing unfortunately. There’s nothing sweeter than grabbing a coffee drink and strolling along the many aisles of unread books while caffeinated. Piling the few that look good and then scoring a nook someplace warm to leaf through them. And if I go with someone, I like to leaf and share and then pry through theirs.

I’ve never really considered myself an extrovert and this probably proves it.

On one of my dates alone, I was particularly interested in the Danish way of living. I always wondered why they’re the happiest people. And so I piled on all of the books I could find on the matter and I discovered, while eating croissant, that there is a method to the happiness- hygge!

I won’t bore you over something you can google for more, but, in a nutpost, hygge is undefined but closely defined as “coziness of the soul.” And if that’s too aloof for you, a hug in English is the closest feeling.

Comfort, conviviality, simple indulgence and well being are hygge’s means of pleasure. Cooking with feel good foods from forest, field, farm, partaking in cake and buzzy drinks with friends, indulging in good kinship, maintaining a simply designed but efficient home to leave more time with dog, not cleaning up, spending time with nature and appreciating it even if from afar, these are some of the ways to hygge. And now my favorite means to happy.